Another Screwy Sailormoon Story
by CastellaStar
Summary: Um......another story inspired by my little brother. Don't get offended. It's supposed to make fun of Sailor Moon. Please R&R!


I do not own Sailor Moon. This is meant to make fun of Sailor Moon, so just thought I'd warn you. And also, it WAS inspired by my brother. ^_^  
  
Another Screwy Sailor Moon Story  
  
Neo-Queen Serenity dragged her feet through the halls of the Crystal Palace, hunched over. She was still relatively new to the castle, and was getting used to all of the hallways. Often, she had gotten lost, but always managed to find her way back out.  
  
"Fooooood..," she moaned. "Must..have...fooooood."  
  
She grabbed the wall, leaning up against it, her eyes swirling. Slowly, she began to sink to the floor, and began crawling. For the past two hours, she had been trying to find the dining room, where Darien, now known as King Endymion, would probably be waiting.  
  
Up ahead, Serenity could see a door that looked familiar. Except it was hard to tell, because her vision was blurring. It didn't take long before she was seeing two doors instead of one. She crawled up to the two sets of doors, not knowing which one was the real one..they both looked exactly the same. Across the front of the doors, in gold-plated lettering, read the words Dining Room. Serenity gave a cry of joy, jumped up, and ran for the door at full speed.  
  
King Endymion sat at the table, and looked at his watch impatiently. It had been two hours since dinner was served. This was the fifth time Serena had gotten lost and been late. Endymion sweat-dropped at the thought of his Serena wandering through the halls, crying for food.  
  
All of a sudden, he heard footsteps going at an insanely fast pace. Soon followed by these steps...WHAM!!! Endymion sighed and got up from his chair. It seemed that Serena had hit the wall..again. He walked to the door and looked out. Sure enough, lying on the floor was Serena, her eyes swirling. She blinked a few times, and began wailing hideously, tears streaming from her eyes.  
  
Endymion walked over to Serena and helped her up. "Come on, Serena. The food's in here."  
  
Instantly, Serenity stopped crying, and a crazy look filled her eyes. Letting out a maniacal cackle, she shoved her Darien into the wall and ran into the dining room, diving upon the table. Everywhere Serenity looked, there was food. Food! Food! Food! She began tearing at the lobster, while sitting in the middle of the table, and laughed maniacally.  
  
"Finally!" she laughed, "I have it! I have fooooooood!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Darien hobbled into the dining room, with a black eye forming where Serena had shoved him away. He limped over to his chair and sat down, staring at Serenity like he was seeing a new species of dinosaur. He sighed, a bigger sweat drop forming on his head.  
  
"Serena." he started.  
  
Serenity looked up at her husband, part of a lobster hanging out of her mouth. "What.grumph, munch, crunch.is it.gulp, harrumph.dear? Munch, crunch, squish."  
  
Darien looked at his wife, disgust hinting on his expression. "We need to talk. Now."  
  
"About..harrumph, mmm..yum..about what, muffin?"  
  
Darien suddenly began crying, screeching out pitifully, "DO YOU STILL LOVE ME?!!!!!"  
  
Serenity looked down at her almost-finished lobster, and then to the fried chicken that hadn't been touched yet. "Um...hold on one second," she said quickly, diving for the chicken. She grabbed a chicken leg, but before gobbling it up, she turned to her husband. "Now, Darien.of COURSE I love you. How could you doubt me? It's just that a girl needs food to live! And I can't love you if I'm not alive."  
  
Darien watched as she tossed the chicken leg in the air and swallowed it whole. He began tearing up with joy, and jumped onto the table, squeezing Serena tightly. "I KNEW YOU LOVED ME!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!" Darien hugged his wife tightly, tears streaming from his eyes, when a coughing sound interrupted the happy moment. Darien looked down at Serena, only to see her face turning a strange blue color.  
  
He held her out in front of him with his arms and looked at her. "Serena? Serena?! Are you alright?!"  
  
"Can't...breathe." she gasped, holding her throat.  
  
"What did you say?" asked Darien, leaning closer.  
  
Serena began pointing at her throat desperately. "Can't.." she gasped, "Bre. bre. brea.."  
  
"Bre? Bre-what? You can't bre? You can't be? Are you allergic to chicken breasts? You can't breed? What? What? Tell me!!!" he yelled, panicking.  
  
Serenity gave an annoyed growl, jumped off of the table, and ran into the kitchen. She tugged on the cook's shirt, pointing at her throat desperately. "Help.cough, cough.me!!!" she gasped.  
  
The cook gave a startled look at his queen, and nearly squealed with fright. The horrifying green and blue monster before him did not look like his queen. All of a sudden, it hit him. She was choking! His wonderful queen was choking! And she was going to DIE!!!  
  
He began to panic and ran around the kitchen screaming, "THE QUEEN IS DYING! THE QUEEN IS DYING! SOMEBODY HEEELPP!!!"  
  
The butcher ran into the room, holding one of his many cutlery knifes. "What on earth are you screaming about?" he roared. "Where is the queen? Who's behind all of this?!"  
  
"THE QUEEN!!!" screeched the cook. "HELP HER!!! SHE'S CHOKING! SHE'S DYING!"  
  
"Move aside!" yelled the butcher, shoving the cook away, and walking towards Serenity, who was coughing feebly. "Don't worry, my Queen! I can help you! Do you want me to cut it out?" he asked pointing towards his knife.  
  
Serena looked at the knife, and nearly fainted, shaking her head furiously. "You...FOOL!!!" she managed to squeak.  
  
"I was only kidding, my Queen," laughed the butcher heartily. He began to laugh harder.so hard that he couldn't stand. "Good.joke..eh, my Queen?"  
  
Serena kicked him in the head, and then began hitting herself on the back, trying to get the chicken leg out. The butcher stood up, dizzy from the kick, but grabbed Serenity. "Don't worry, my Queen! I know the Heimlich maneuver!"  
  
Serena's eyes nearly popped out at the thought. Here was this butcher who was three times as big as her, and ten times as strong. Before she could think anything else though, she was being squeezed. The butcher heaved her up several times, and only stopped when Endymion ran in, screaming at him. Too late. There was a loud 'bleargh', and Serena's stomach was emptied.  
  
Serena lay on the ground, her eyes swirling. She was sure she had just vomited up everything from the past week. Weakly, she got up, and looked up at Darien, who was covered in chunks of food. She began to crack up with laughter.  
  
Darien teared up and screeched, "I KNEW YOU DIDN'T LOVE MEEE!!!!" He ran out of the kitchen and back into the dining room. He leapt for the window, planning to fall to his doom. But instead of breaking like any normal window, the window merely stood there, refusing to break. Darien, who had been knocked back by the blow, got up, and began kicking and punching at the window, which was made of Silver Imperium Crystal.  
  
Serena was now lying on the ground, pounding her fists and feet on the ground, crying from laughter. She slowly stopped laughing, and managed to stand back up. "Darien! Don't be a fool! You should know better! I still love you!"  
  
He stopped beating on the window, looking back at his beloved wife. "You do? Really?" he asked.  
  
"Of course I do," she said, smiling as she walked back to the dinner table. "Now, how about a game of Chubby Bunny?"  
  
Darien walked back over to the table. "Okay," he replied, sitting down.  
  
Soon they were in the middle of the stupid game, stuffing their cheeks with as many marshmallows as possible. Darien had reached eighteen before he had to stop. Of course, Serena was still going, packing in those marshmallows. She always won, but this was the most she had gotten in yet! She was on thirty, and still going!  
  
Just as she reached forty-nine, a strange look crossed Serenity's face. At first it was a sickly look, and then a look of unreadable annoyance. "NOT AGAIN!!!" she screeched, spewing marshmallows everywhere.  
  
"What is it, sweetie?" asked Endymion, looking concerned at his wife.  
  
Serena fell out of her chair, holding onto her throat once again. Another sweat drop formed on his head, and he realized that, once again, his wife was choking. He began to stand up, but Serena did before him. She began running circles around the room, for some strange reason. Darien tried to catch her, but to no avail. His wife was going to die because she couldn't stay still long enough!  
  
All of a sudden, Serena stopped in front of the window that Darien had tried to jump out of before. Darien leaped for his wife, ready to help her out, but he jumped too hard. He and his wife went sailing into the window, which at that moment decided to break, and they both went falling to their doom.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
All of a sudden, a strangely familiar, but way out of place character, walked into the dining room. He walked over to the broken window, his hands in the pockets of his bright orange outfit. Looking out, he could barely see the two figures of Serenity and Endymion falling. Unfortunately, just as they were falling, an earthquake had opened up a crack in the ground. An evil dude appeared, enchanting the crack so that it was a never-ending abyss. The man ran his hand through his wild black hair, pulling a sour face at the terrible cackle of the evil guy.  
  
Goku turned around, shaking his head in amazement. "Man, even I never had problems like that. That is just terrible."  
  
The familiar screech of his wife rent the air. "GOKU!!! YOU GET BACK HERE, THIS VERY INSTANT!!!! NOOOOWWW!!!"  
  
Sighing, Goku took one last look out the window, and walked out of the room. "Terrible.," he muttered. "Absolutely terrible. I mean, sure that moon-chick was an airhead..but to be THAT stupid."  
  
THE END 


End file.
